Friday, December 18

If not now probably later, and it'll be better.

Peace be upon you.

I finished my foundation last April.

That was about 9 months ago.
If I was pregnant I would’ve a baby by now. Ok kidding.

All of my friends only spent about 5 to 6 months of holiday after finishing our foundation back in UiTM Lendu. But for me, it was a 9 months holiday.
Oh hey, if I rajin lah. I wanna write about my journey doing Foundation in TESL at UiTM Lendu, Melaka. From the interview until I graduated. InshAllah.

It might sounds amazing having so much free time at home. Well, it was, at first. I didn’t just spend all of that time at home being a lifeless couch potatoes, I did some part time jobs. But leave that first, I’ll write about it in future post. Soon, I hope so.

The day I officially graduated from UiTM Lendu, I’ll describe it as bitter sweet.
Well it was saddening that you have to leave your best buddies behind (and I also broke up with my …) well let’s not talk about the latter. However the feeling of finally be able to get out of the place that had been torturing me for two semesters and the joy of going back home excites me more than anything else.

Well, to be honest, on the last day I’m at my college I did cry having to bid farewell to my friends. But hey, there’s always a goodbye to every hello. Life must go on aye?

But the joy of having freedom didn’t last that long for me. It only lasted for a few months until it started to turn into a long series of sadness and frustration.

Here’s why. Firstly, I wanted to do B. Ed. TESL for my degree. In order to do that, I have to undergo MeDSI Test. Unfortunately, I failed the test!
And you know what happened when I failed the test? Yes, I won’t be able to do B. Ed. TESL.

Time goes by as I see most of friends getting excited and freaking out over their upcoming interviews for TESL programs. UM, UiTM, USM, UKM, UPM, you name it.

The most torturous week for me during my holiday would be the week of the universities interviews. It was the week where all of my applications were rejected and I didn’t managed to go for any interview. It was the week where I spent every single day opening up universities portals just to reconfirm whether I get the interview or not or to make sure that probably it was a technical error tha my name wasn’t show up every time I checked the results. It was the week, where most of the Whatsapp groups were filled with the hoo-haa of their interview sessions. And it was the week, where I felt I wasn’t good enough for this world. Sobs.

It took me a month to finally accepting and redha *I think so* the bitter truth.

You know when you’re feeling down and sad, then people will always tell you that “oh takpe, ada rezeki kat tempat lain lah tu” or “jangan sedih sangat, some people had it worst”. At first I was so angry when I received this kind of advices or so-called ‘ayat motivasi’. To me, you wouldn’t know how it really feels unless it happened to you.

When things started to get better for me, then the time comes.

Another hell-week for me, it was the week where they announced the results for UPU. All I ever had in mind during that time was “fml fml fml”. Please don’t ask what is fml.

I was at the verge of giving up with life when I checked my UPU result. I was offered to do a course that I don’t like, in a university somewhere in Terengganu. You may guess but I wouldn’t say yes or a no.

Oh right, another thing that pissed me off was whenever people said that “takpe lah dapat course yang kau tak suka, cuba lah dulu. Tak kenal maka tak cinta” or something like “bersyukur je lah dah dapat tu, pergi je lah”.
This really makes me furious because to me, how would you like a course if it doesn’t suit your passion? As for examples, I’m the kind of person who hates science and mathematics or something that involves both such as physics. You cannot simply tell me that I’ll love Physics if I try it because I know my limits and my capabilities.

Secondly, by rejecting the offer, it doesn’t mean that I tak bersyukur or anything. You have to understand that, going to university involves a lot of money. Before you register, you must pay the fees first. And let me tell you, university fees are not just one or two bucks. And I came from a moderate family. Truth to be told, money is a big matter to my family as we are not a rich family. So, let me tell you I cannot just go do the course and hate myself for the next for years doing degree that I hate then I cannot keep up anymore and end up failing my degree. Who is going to give me money for that?

Back to the story, most of my friends get the university they wanted or at least the course they have been dying for. But I wasn’t. It was hard for me to accept the truth. I was depressed. I spent days locked up in my room crying and contemplating life.

Until, there’s one day I pray to Allah so that He will give me something better than what I got. My mom told me that praying alone wasn’t enough. Allah will never change the condition of a person until they change it themselves. So, I gather all my strength that still left behind and I started planning for my future.

So applied for university here and there, sent tons of application letters begging for the universities to accept me as their students. 

By the way, I’ll share my experience applying for university (after I failed UPU) in a different post as a guideline to help those who are facing the same situation as me. InshAllah.

So after months of struggling, Allah finally answers my prayers. Alhamdulillah!
I got an interview for doing B. Ed. TESL in UiTM and also I was offered to do degree in IIUM Bachelor of English Language and Literature. Two of my most wanted course and my dream university. Thanks to Him. It was worth the wait.

Oh and I’ll also be sharing about the interview for B. Ed. TESL in future post.


Sunday, November 15

cari orgasm bila dah nak pecah kepala

Sejak kebelakangan ni, stress habis sebab aku teramat lah busy dengan permohonan nak masuk U.
Orang lain dah start belajar kot tapi aku masih terkial kial lagi. Haha
Tapi tak pe doakan aku berjaya sambung Bachelor in Education dkt IIUM. InshAllah.

Kali ni nak cerita, bila dah stress nak pecah kepala ni, aku suka pergi cari ketenangan dekat kawasan pantai.

Selalunya aku akan pergi balik kampung.

Ha, kampung aku ni walaupun dia jauh ke pedalaman ( tak de lah dalam mana saja exaggerate nak kasi gempak )
Tapi masih ada banyak tempat yang best tau !

Yang paling best and favourite aku : pantai

 Kampung Sungai Air Tawar, Sabak Bernam, Selangor

Yes kampung aku nama dia Kampung Sungai Air Tawar, kenapa air tawar pun aku tak tahu. Tak pernah pula aku terfikir nak  terjun parit nak gi rasa. Hehe.

Kat kampung aku ni yang bestnya, udang galah bersepah. Jala ke mancing je depan rumah. Tiap kali balik kampung mesti makan mewah. Haha dahsyat tak

Abah tengah seronok jala udang galah sampai tak kisah kiri kanan

Haa tengok tu muka bahagia Abah dapat udang galah. Masak lomak cili api sedap bak hang

Anyways, kat sekitar kampung aku ni ada 2 pantai yang aku selalu pergi sebab view dia yang memang sangat cantik ! 
Kelasss kau tak payah nak pergi bercuti jauh jauh.

Aku suka pergi pantai kat sini sebab pasir dia yang putih seputih melepak bak makcik qu puteh dan dapat tengok kapal kapal (memang best)


Cantik kan pantai nya, kaki langit yang kemerah jambuan giteww. Romantik sangat

Pantai yang ni nama dia Pantai Sg. Apong. 
Aku pun tak pasti kalau tu nama dia yang betul ( orang Sabak Bernam sila comment ) sebab Abah yang selalu cakap kat aku, itulah nama dia.

Dah Pantai tetiba ada sungai pulak, eh.

Yang best nya kat pantai ni, dia punya pasir pantai memang cantik.
kalau rasa nak bawak anak pergi main pasir pantai tapi tak nak anak gatal kena kudis sana sini, haa meh ke mari meh. 

Abah konon konon candid hihi

Kalau petang, memang cantik lah view dia.
sumpah orgasm mata sampai ke otak.

Kat sini nak memancing pun boleh jugak.


Pantai ni agak famous lah jugak. Orang selalu panggil Pantai BNO.
 Siapa yang kaki pancing tu mesti kenal tempat ni. 

Kat sini view pun cantik jugak. Kalau datang petang petang tu, dapat lah tengok bot bot nelayan. 

Ada gerai mee udang kat sini. Famous jugak orang panggil gerai mee udang BNO SEDAP

Kat sini ada chalet kat tengah laut tau atau nama dia Kelong. Memang rare

Kalau nak ke sini senang je, dari Kuala Lumpur dua jam je kalau ikut Lebuhraya LATAR. Homestay pun banyak kat sini.

Bukan tu je, kalau nak beli kerepek kerepek ke kat kampung aku ni memang banyak tempat proses dorg. MURAH MURAH PULAK TU SERIOUS

Kalau nak tahu lagi lanjut boleh ke Facebook Sabak Bernam ya !

aku kalau dah tengok tempat tempat cantik macam ni, memang eye-gasm gitu sampai ke otak. tenang mak jah oi

banyak gambar mak jemah sorang ni je adui